Since I mentioned the other day that I just got married a few months ago, I was kind of thinking back and reminiscing about my wedding day….and night. One of the things I was thinking about was how my husband removed all the pins from my hair (and trust me, there were a lot of pins) that night. We were just lying there in bed and I said I needed to take them all out. He pulled one, and then another, and then continued to do so until all the pins were removed. All the while we simply lay there, sometimes speaking, sometimes not.
That thought led to others. How sometimes the lightest caress strikes me deeper than the most sexual. How strange and intimate it felt to share my bowl of soup with him on our first date.
Naturally that train of thought led me to romance novels. I remember reading something once where the hero had reached into the heroine’s car through the open window and caressed her bare arm. At the time I felt a shiver up my spine and was more turned on – and more deeply touched – by that small caress than I’d been even during the love scenes.
It’s the intimate moments I read romance novels for. When he touches the small of her back because he knows she’s upset and he wishes to let her know he’s there. When she’s able to calm him with a look. When something as simple as a gesture conveys their feelings better than any words could ever do.
Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy the spicy scenes as much as the next girl. The spicier the better, as a matter of fact. I also love fabulous dialogue and exotic settings and the sometimes in-depth character studies. But it’s the intimacy that really makes it a love story, in my opinion.
I remember reading Born in Fire (Book 1 in the Born In Trilogy) by Nora Roberts years ago. In it, Maggie, the heroine, has commitment issues. She and her hero have been “together” for quite some time, but it’s almost always fast and hard. He decides to slow it down and she has real issues with the intimacy of sex that way..soft, slow, sweet. That part of the book really struck me, because until that moment I hadn’t really noticed she’d been shying away from him even in the bedroom.
What about you? Have a favorite intimate scene from a novel? Do those parts touch you like they do me? Or do you prefer sexuality over intimacy?
One thing a hero will do that I think is very sexy, when they gently touch their woman’s cheek or kiss their forehead. It is sweet, yet sexy.
You nailed it, Holly–intimacy is expressed in so many different ways.
A friend had once shared a scene from a movie where the guy (a gardener) had painted the main character’s toe nail. She flushed just talking about it.
As a teenager, I thought a guy cupping your face to kiss you was the ultimate swoon-worthy gesture. Still do.
But the one thing that just makes my stomach drop is when reading the hero realises/proclaims “HE WANTS HER”. It’s so primitive, so clear, no absolute. Nothing turns me on more.
mph
I don’t think I can recall a specific scene but I love when the hero and heroine have their foreheads together…either after a kiss, before or just for comfort. It’s just such an intimate thing to do and brings you so close together. I love it.
Great post Holly. 🙂
KB,
I love it when he kisses her forehead. I actually remember having an argument with someone about that once (I think it might have been on a message board, during my pre-blogging days). They argued that it was a brotherly gesture and not at all intimate or sexy. I disagreed. Still do, actually.
Wendy,
I might need to read that book.
Tracy,
I love the touching foreheads, too. Especially if he’s taller than she is and had to bend down in order to put his forehead on hers.
Holly,
I completely agree. Thats one of the reasons that I enjoy young adult books. They tend to take things slower and the little touches are more pronounced. Theres a scene in Hot Target By: Suzanne Brockman, where the heroine is freaking out and all the hero had to do is shift a little across the room to get her attention and it helped to calm her down a little. I think that knowing the other person is there with you, is whats so important — that its you and not just any woman that makes the difference.
Lovely post, Holly. I fall more on the intimacy side, I’d say. There’s a scene in Laurie R. King’s A Letter of Mary in which he merely sits down and strokes her hand at some length. By the time he’s done, her senses are heightened and every fiber of her being is uber aware. Gave me the deep shivers.
Intimacy, hands down. Forehead kissing and very soft rubbing down my back will make my knees go weak every single time. My favorite picture from my wedding is of Mike and I with our eyes closed and he’s kissing my forehead while we’re dancing….the photographer just happened to catch it.
A book I just finished, Prince Charming by Julie Garwood has a lot of “those” moments. I fell in love with the hero, for sure.
I prefer intimacy over sexuality b/c intimacy requires emotional involvement. There is nothing sweeter reading about the h/h comforting each other. I love the touching foreheads, when he just plays with her hair, etc.
One book that comes to mind is Honor’s Splendor by JG. All Duncan had to do was put his arms around Madelyn and it calmed her. *sigh*
I love the little things.. the simplest touches mean so much. I love that you shared that about him taking the pins out of your hair. That is soooo romantic and intimate.
Intimacy, hands down.
One of my favorite intimate scenes is from Flowers from the Storm, where Christian takes down Maddy’s hair and wraps it around her body.
He had been wanting to get her hair out of the tight bun she wore for so long and when he finally did… It made me swoon.
The Bride Fair by Cheryl Reavis. This is an HH from several years ago (that I really need to reread!), but there’s one scene that has stuck with all these years.
It’s post-Civil War and it’s the couples’ wedding day. It’s not the happiest of days (due to the novel’s plot) and the heroine is a bit unsure. The hero then proceeds to undo all of the tiny pearl buttons that are on her wedding gown. ALL of them. And back in those days, gowns had a mess of buttons on them……
great great post and mph it’s Bull Durham and many conside that toenail painting scene one of the most erotic.
You know I’m with you on this one Luv, for me laughing together in bed is very sexy and Intimate. (Not AT each other WITH each other! HA!)
But it’s really depends on the mood on which I prefer. Intimacy moves me more, but sometimes I’m all “man” and just fall for the heated roll in the hay.
THe best is intimate non erotic touches WHILE sex- if you catch my drift.
Can’t think of an example from a book at the mo …
You know, I guess that part of the thing with those intimate-yet-not-quite-sexual touches is all that they convey. Emotional closeness, I guess. Affection.
Like every single time Roarke touches Eve’s hair, or her face. Those touches convey so much more than whatever he may say at the time.
*sigh*
(Though I know just what you mean too, zeek :wicked grin:)
Very nice post, Holly. I love steamy sex scenes, but it is definitely the scenes with romantic intimacy like the ones everyone mentioned here that tug at my heart strings the most and make a book the most memorable.
btw, is that you in the photograph, Holly? Either way, its a beautiful shot.
How do you always nail these things!? 😉
I have talked about the scenes that cause my tummy to do that little flip and one that does it every time even though I know it’s coming is from Anne Stuart’s Lord of Danger.
The heroine is looked up in a cage and the hero is being forced to pretend he doesn’t care for her (which she believed). Late at night while the camp is sleeping he finds his way to her cage and simply holds her hand until she falls asleep. Slays me because it’s the first time the heroine is awake during one of his tender moments. She even wakes the next morning thinking she dreamt it.
And I kiss my hubby on his closed eyes. He wears glasses and told me once (after I told him how I loved his eyes)that he is self conscious about them so I’ll take his glasses off and kiss his closed eye lids cause they’re beautiful.
CindyS
Ahh, Eve and Roarke. I love them. They’re a perfect example of intimacy.
Quick funny story:
I was thinking about MM (the DH) today as I re-read this, so I sent him a text message telling him I love him. That’s all I said, “I Love You.” So the jerk texts back, “What do you want? Did you do something bad?” we spent the next half hour arguing via text about how I said I love you out of nowhere and how he was convinced it was because I wanted something.
Boys.
Yes, Christine, that is me. It’s one of my favorite shots from the wedding. Isn’t the background gorgeous? We had perfect weather.
But probably I shouldn’t get started on that. I’ll end up hijacking the comments w/ details of the wedding. :0)
Cindy, we were cross-commenting.
You made my heart melt a little with that. Awww.
Angiegirl, is that a book you’d recommend? I might need to add it to the list.
CindyS :: Aww. Very sweet.
Holly :: My husband and I had the same “I love you,” text action and reaction just a few months ago. He said he was sure I had a car accident. *rolling eyes*
You are stunning in that photo.
What Christine said–wow!!!!!
No, let me rephrase… WOW!!!
I can’t think of a specific scene from a book, but there are a couple of things that always do “it” for me…the hand at the small of the back as a touch in conversation, or as the couple walks from one place to another. GG does that and just the warmth from his hand can be so reassuring and give me confidence like crazy. No words, just sort of a “Go get ’em Tiger!” encouragement.
Awww, thanks ladies. Just what every bride wants to hear!
Christine,
They’re so distrustful, those boys.
I can so picture that text argument w/ MM. I’m cracking up. LOL
Boys will be boys.
Thanks, Zeek, it is now queing in my Netflick!
*stepping safely taking cover*
Intimacy is great between a couple but senxuality is the stepping stone on which it reach it’s awwwww-someness. Without sexuality, it’s just a hug from your father, holding hands with your best friend, a peck from your son. (All tender moments of a different kind)
*grin*
mph
I definitely recommend it, Holly. It’s actually the third in King’s Mary Russell series. I’d start with the first one–The Beekeeper’s Apprentice–and go from there.
So fun that the wedding pic is actually you! It’s lovely.
That is such a sweet anecdote. What a great post. I think those little moments can be so meaningful. and as for the hot scenes, often it’s things characters say during the hot scenes that are more memorable to me than the actions.