In her head, Robin wants to marry her boyfriend. Everything about her relationship with Jay makes sense, makes her happy, but she can’t bring herself to accept his proposal. Her body has unfinished business with Patrick, the man who saved her life six years ago. For a long time she assumed her potent feelings for Patrick were born of fear, wrapped up in the night she was attacked, but now she’s realizing it is far simpler than that. She wants him. Always has, always will.
More attached to Robin than the idea of her being faithful, Jay gives her the green light to go after Patrick in the hopes that it will demystify the man and get him out of Robin’s system. It begs the question: if you have permission, is it still cheating? And which will ultimately sway the heart? Reason or Attraction?
In other Cara McKenna writings that I have encountered, I have come to believe that she has the knack of writing a story that seems to be about one thing on the surface — erotic romance, in this case — but with a hidden sub-plot that is more pressing in nature. Not to knock erotic romance. What’s not to love? But there are some currents of human interaction and relationship in this novella that are, to me, quite riveting and caused me to do some deeper thinking about what was really going on with these characters.
First there is Robin, a woman who has survived an attack in the dark parking lot of a local hang-out, one that certainly changed her life and her appreciation for life and safety. Into this scenario comes Patrick Whelan, a gentle giant who, even though he was a bit aglow with drink, managed to subdue the attacker, beat the @#$% out of the guy, and then subsequently went to jail because the attacker was related to someone in law enforcement. Now we have the fiance, Jay, who has been in the relationship with Robin for four years, and who is probably the first man Robin has felt truly comfortable with, even to the point of possibly wanting to have a child with him. It is true that Robin has refused Jay’s proposal so far, even though she was with him when they picked out the ring. Jay appears to be a patient and loving guy, one who is sensitive to Robin’s anxieties and where Patrick is concerned, willing to allow her to explore her attraction to him, even though Robin allows Jay to set the “rules of engagement.”
On the face of it, this is really a crazy, mixed-up, weird set of circumstances. And yet, in light of Robin’s attack, there are some issues that still remain unresolved and thus her continuing attraction to Patrick. She went to visit him weekly in prison; did she never feel that attraction then? It would appear that she did. Did she act on that attraction when he was released from prison? It would appear that she didn’t. It was after Patrick’s release that Robin met Jay and began her relationship with him. Was it satisfying for her? It would appear that it was — on many levels. But perhaps not as satisfying as it should or could have been and thus, the draw toward Patrick continues.
As I read this story I kept waiting for “the other shoe to drop” such as: would she choose one over the other, or would they end up in a menage de trois? Would Robin ultimately chuck them both? I appreciated the fact that Ms McKenna didn’t give away the ending too soon, and that the reader is truly “strung along” almost to the very end. I think the story was so well written in that the reader is able to form a very complete picture of each character. All were so different, and each had their own approach to living. Life for Jay needed to be orderly and normal. Yet when Robin was returning from her encounters with Patrick, Jay was “turned on.” What’s with that? Just goes to show that we seldom perceive the darker parts of a person’s psyche under most circumstances. I liked Robin and her honesty–recognizing that her desire for Patrick may mean the end of what was really a cherished relationship with Jay, and yet, she wasn’t willing to let that attraction go unexplored. I found Patrick to be quite engaging: a man who put his life on hold even to the point of going to prison. His own testimony was that he would gladly do it again if it would mean safety for Robin. What a guy! Underneath the obvious facts of the story I think his integrity and honor shone through.
Each reader will have to form their own sense of what this story is about, but I think, for me, it was an insightful examination of how powerful feelings need to be admitted, and perhaps they need to be explored. Would Robin have known some of the darker aspects of Jay’s personality had she not insisted on even a limited involvement with Patrick? Who can know? But then, that’s the point of the story, isn’t it? Each of these characters had some important decisions to make. And in this literary format, I think Ms McKenna has posed the questions and given the reader opportunities to find some answers.
This is truly a love story. It is not an easy story to read–it is not simplistic and one of those fun romps through erotic romance land. It is dealing with the hard realities of feelings and the power they have over those that have them and the power they have to alter one’s life journey. I like gutsy stories and this is certainly one of those. And I felt that this was another McKenna tale that is worthy of the time and effort to read and to digest. It will not be a major time commitment, but it will be a substantive reading experience.
I give this novella a 4 out of 5.
You can read more from Judith at Dr. J’s Book Place.
This book is available from Ellora’s Cave. You can buy it here in e-format.
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