Welcome to the Money, Honey Blog tour, in which author Susan Sey celebrates the July 6 release of her debut novel by counting down the Top Ten Most Common Reactions an ill-groomed stay at home mom receives when confessing her secret career as a romance novelist.
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Hello, Book Bingers! Thanks so much for helping me celebrate the launch of my debut novel, Money, Honey. Today we’ll be talking about Response #5 on my list: The dreaded awkward silence.
(If you’re all aflutter to know what the other nine responses are, check out http://www.susansey.com/pages.php?ID=5)
Now this is a toughie. Bad enough now that I’m published but way worse before I sold. It gives a dream legitimacy if somebody’s paying you to pursue it, even modestly. But for five long years, I was both unpublished and unagented. I was unemployed, too, unless you count producing and chasing children, and dealing with the laundry that ensues. Which keeps a girl pretty busy, actually. But unagented, unpublished AND unemployed? It’s the conversational kiss of death.Here’s how it would usually go:
Well-meaning stranger: “So, what do you do?”
Me: “Oh, I stay home with my kids.”
WMS: “Wow, good for you. That’s so great. I could never be a stay at home mom. I’d go nuts.”
Me: “Yeah, it can get a little crazy.”
WMS: “Seriously. I mean, I love my kids but if I didn’t get out of the house I’d lose it. I mean, how much conversation can you have with a two year old, right? When it comes to brain power, you got to use it or lose it, you know?”
Me, smiling: “Oh, I know.”
WMS, suspecting they’ve insulted me but in too deep now to back out: “Um, so what else do you? I mean, you must do something for yourself, right? Something that uses your…” This is where they want to say brain but catch themselves in time to go with… “—education?”
Me, deciding not to mention the notion that raising children is enough to keep a smarter woman than I busy 24/7 and then some: “I write novels during naptime.”
WMS, brightening: “Really? That’s great! What kind?”
Me: “Romance.”
WMS, crestfallen: “That’s..well, hey, good for you! Where can I buy your books?”
Me: “Nowhere. I’m unpublished.”
WMS, realizing this conversation is now unsalvageable: “Oh.”
Awkward silence ensues.
You can see why I started keeping my ambitions to myself. But all that changed a few years back when my husband & I flew out to Portland OR to visit his best friend from grad school. Now I didn’t know this friend very well, and knew his wife—a scary-smart & uber-accomplished corporate lawyer—even less. One day we’re walking along the beach & the dreaded question comes up: “So Susan,” Mrs. Accomplished asks me. “What do you do for yourself to stay sane while you’re home with the kids?”
Now my husband has always been out & proud about my ambitions to write romance, to the point that he’d been threatening to tell people if I didn’t. So when The Question presented itself, one glance told me he was ready to make good on that promise. I indulged in some mental cursing & a truly evil glare (which bounced right off, as usual) and fessed up. “I write romance novels, actually.”
The silence was long & deafening. Mortification ensued. I couldn’t even look at her, this woman I’d been starting to really, really like.
Then she said, in tones of enthusiastic wonder, “Really? Because I’ve been writing a pirate novel for YEARS.”
Fast forward to 2008. Here’s a picture of us—me and The Amazing Kirsten Scott, who’s become my dear friend, invaluable critique partner & fellow Romance Bandit–celebrating Money, Honey’s Golden Heart win. If Inara hadn’t sold her YA series to Hyperion earlier in the year, I have no doubt she’d be holding a matching pendant. I still want her to finish that darn pirate novel but the jump to YA seems to have treated her well.
I trust her opinion without reservation, so the fact that she loves Money, Honey’s Patrick with a fervor second only to my own makes me think maybe he really is as awesome as I think he is.
Thanks for coming out today to play! So now you know all about my improbable little dream of being a romance novelist. What about you? Are you harboring any unlikely ambitions? Are you a CPA who longs to sing opera? A stay at home mom moonlighting as a disc jockey or backup singer? Are you pursuing the dream, or just enjoying the fantasy? Either way, I want to hear about it. Five lucky commenters will receive a free copy of Money, Honey
Some years back, Golden Heart Award Winner Susan Sey gave up the glamorous world of software training to pursue a high powered career in diaper changing. Two children and millions of diapers later, she decided to branch out and started writing novels during nap time. The kids eventually gave up their naps, so now she writes when she’s supposed to be doing the laundry. She currently resides in St. Paul, MN, with her wonderful husband, their charming children and a very tall pile of dirty clothes.
Visit Susan on her website or at her blog
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Haven’t we all had a conversation like that at one time or another? I can totally relate. Not about the writing part, but the awkwardness of trying to explain to someone who’s never going to understand.
Thanks Susan!
Alright folks, you heard her. Leave a comment here answering Susan’s question from above and you’ll be entered to win one of five (5!) copies of Money, Honey
I love this column and can’t wait to read your book. I’ve always wanted to do stained glass work, but the time was never right. Work, then kids, now grandkids in the house put a kibosh on those plans. Thanks for the boost of hope!
I’m a part-time working mom (in IT) and I (sheepishly admitting) have also written a few romance short stories and one longer one, that I have secretly stored at home, but mostly prefer now to read as many as I can.
Every once in a while, I start thinking about it again…
I always wanted to live permanently in a more temperate climate. I’d survive quite well without snow. I doubt it’ll happen, but it’s a great fantasy!
Count me in for this book. I love the cover and have been seeing it around diff sites.
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Am counting the mos til I retire in a few years – boring huh?
This book looks interesting! Love the cover!
To answer your question, I’m pursuing my dream of being a archaeologist! I will finish my degree this year 🙂
I would love to win one of these books.
As for your question, am an elderly lady, so nothing in the future as regards to pursuing some at this stage. But would have loved to gotten my driver’s license in my younger days, Oh, well.
Helen L.
LSU reader wrote: I’ve always wanted to do stained glass work, but the time was never right. Work, then kids, now grandkids in the house put a kibosh on those plans. Thanks for the boost of hope!
Oh, what a cool ambition! I read a novel once (a romance by…I think….Iris Johanssen?) where the heroine was a stained glass artist. I thought it was the coolest thing & always wanted to try it. I hope you do!
Christy wrote: I (sheepishly admitting) have also written a few romance short stories and one longer one, that I have secretly stored at home, but mostly prefer now to read as many as I can.
Oh, Christy, how great! Have you joined a writers’ group or anything? I labored away for a whole year writing my first novel, & only after I’d gotten to the end did I allow myself to think of myself as a writer. And to consider joining a writers group.
It was probably the single most important and useful thing I did, aside from sitting down & actually writing. I highly recommend checking out your local RWA chapter because, man, though ladies know their stuff & the community is so warm & wonderful. If nothing else, think of all the new friends!
Keep writing!
Chey wrote: I always wanted to live permanently in a more temperate climate. I’d survive quite well without snow. I doubt it’ll happen, but it’s a great fantasy!
I have that fantasy every year from about October through April. 🙂
But then I live in Minnesota.
Tell you what, though, the other six month of the year make up for it. It’s gorgeous here today. Not snowing or anything. 🙂
Pat L wrote: Am counting the mos til I retire in a few years – boring huh?
That’s a wonderful dream to look forward to, Pat. I’m telling you, I dream of the day I can call it quits at the day job, too, & I’m a stay at home mom. (It’s the bickering–I swear, I can deal with anything but the constant bickering.)
What will you do with your time once you retire? Write novels? 🙂
Lu wrote: To answer your question, I’m pursuing my dream of being a archaeologist! I will finish my degree this year 🙂
Oh, archaeology! How cool! Will you work in the field, or in the classroom, or a combination of both? I’ll bet it’s a field of study chock-full of ideas for romance novels, too. Are you a writer, too? Good luck with your degree!
Helen L wrote: As for your question, am an elderly lady, so nothing in the future as regards to pursuing some at this stage. But would have loved to gotten my driver’s license in my younger days, Oh, well.
Hi, Helen! I’m sorry you never managed to pursue the driving thing. My grandmother was the same–she always wanted to drive but never found the time to do all the paperwork.
She was a terror in the passenger seat though. Big, wicker purse on her lap, shaking her fist at other drivers & dispensing Irish curses liberally. 🙂
I would like to work in the field 🙂 I don’t write, but I would like to write about my findings one day!
So far my archaeology blog keeps me busy with that 🙂
Hehe I think the field might inspire more crime and horror novels though! With all the people running around with trowels and sunscreen 😛
Is wonderful that you are living your dream and congratulations on the book!
Hi Susan
Don’t enter me. I just finished Money, Honey last night & I really enjoyed it. The foreplay was worth it LOL. I’m at a crossroad right now & my dream is to get back my motivation to just decide something/anything.
Lu wrote: Hehe I think the field might inspire more crime and horror novels though! With all the people running around with trowels and sunscreen 😛
Oh, I can imagine. Trowels & heat is always a bad combination. 🙂
I know there’s a book in there somewhere, though…
Mary G wrote: I just finished Money, Honey last night & I really enjoyed it. The foreplay was worth it LOL. I’m at a crossroad right now & my dream is to get back my motivation to just decide something/anything.
Heh. So glad you liked the foreplay, Mary! It’s my favorite thing to write, I have to admit. And I’m absolutely thrilled that you enjoyed the book. That’s my dream come true right there, so thank you.
And I know what you mean about looking for motivation. Being in the in between is sometimes the hardest thing. I hope you find something that lights you up soon!
I will definitely have to explore that angle!
Kelly M wrote: So, yes, definitely some days I am living the fantasy, but next year we are going to live the dream and take a big 2 week trip to Hawaii with the kids. Can’t wait!
Hey, Kelly, I think we’re rowing in the same boat! I’m rocking the more-kids-less-travel lifestyle myself right now. But my kids are 3 & 7 now, & we’re celebrating our 10th anniversary next week and…
…we’re going to Hawaii too!
But just me & my husband–the kids are staying with my sainted parents. (bless them, bless them)
We’ll take them with us next time but this time it’s just me, my honey, & this itty bitty blue bikini I can’t believe I’m contemplating wearing in public.
Yahoo for getting back to travel!
Hope you have a wonderful trip–which islands will you hit?
Jane wrote: I wouldn’t mind being the host of a travel show. I can imagine how exciting it would be to see the world and get paid for it.
Ooooh, that does sound like fun! I just checked Anthony Bourdain’s No Reservations out of the library. It sounds like something very similar, & I can’t wait to crack it open. But first I have to knock off the rest of JR Ward’s Black Dagger Brotherhood, which I’m ashamed to say I just discovered. (How could I have missed them??)
Anyway, hope you do manage to squeeze in some wonderful travel this summer, even if you don’t land that travel-show host job. 🙂 Research–that’s what we’ll call it!
I’m a student majoring in Microbiology right now but I wished IO could just spend the rest of my traveling all over the world.
This book sounds really good! Congrats on your release!
I would love to be an author–I’m working on it!
Oh, the dreaded awkward silence….
I had to forward this blog to another SATH mom who I thought would completely identify with the conversation. *LOL*
My pet ambition: to be published. Oh, and to do strip cardio (I have like NO coordination so it’s more likely I’d get published) and look sexy doing it.
Congrats, congrats on your debut and I love the happy ending of meeting a wonderful CP!
Hey, Susan – y’know all those people at signings who ask “who do you see in the movie?” We made a website just for answering that question. We’re Storycasting.com, and we’ve put “Money, Honey” on our site, where you and your fans can have a ‘casting conversation’ about your characters. Here’s a link: http://bit.ly/Cast_MoneyHoney – always free and non-spamming. “For the movie in your mind”
Hi Susan!
Love the cover of Money, Honey! I haven’t cracked it open yet, but I’ve read excerpts which were terrific. I might reward myself later after I hack back the wisteria vines. Hope you’re enjoying your debut! Congrats!
(I gave notice today. I “used” to be a transportation broker. 🙂 Friday is my last day!)
Cheers!
Jen (Pink P.)
I am retired and living my dream—home and garden.
Sounds like a great read :)!
We’ll I’m actually sorta living one of my dreams which was to work from my home office – I’m a freelance web/graphic designer. I’d like to be able to become more involved with baking, crafts, or interior design as well. I love any outlet to express creativity :D!
Pam S
pams00@aol.com
I am envious of Estella!! Alas, I’m still working but not at my dream! I wanted to be a dietitian and somehow i got sidetracked by working for American Airlies and traveling…the dream is still out there and I could still fulfill that dream even at 67 yrs old, right??? So, when I grow up, I’ll be a dietitian! Mickey Mac
I’ve already tried my dream job – after about 5 years working as an CPA I went back to school and got a nursing degree so that I could work in Labor & Delivery. I’m back in accounting these days, but at least I got a chance to try something different.
Jeanette8042 wrote: I’m a student majoring in Microbiology right now but I wished IO could just spend the rest of my traveling all over the world.
Wouldn’t that be gorgeous? Where would you start? I’ve always wanted to go to Australia, after reading Bill Bryson’s In a Sunburnt Land. (He’s LOL funny, btw. It’s the only travelogue I’ve ever read that had me snorting stuff out my nose.)
Chelsea B said: This book sounds really good! Congrats on your release!
I would love to be an author–I’m working on it!
Keep going, Chelsea! If I can do it, I think anybody can. Talent surely plays a part in getting published but far more important (IMHO) is persistence. Keep going,keep writing, keep dreaming. It’s the only way from here to there. I’m rooting for you!
Mshellion wrote: My pet ambition: to be published. Oh, and to do strip cardio (I have like NO coordination so it’s more likely I’d get published) and look sexy doing it.
Ha! That’s a great ambition. Both of them. I’ll bet you could work them together, somehow. You know, write a book about a heroine who runs one of those pole-dancing workout places, & for promotional purposes (of course) you’d have to attend and/or hold such classes. Maybe with readers?
Ha! I love it. When this happens, I want photos.
Hell, I want an invitation. 🙂
Jeff wrote: We’re Storycasting.com, and we’ve put “Money, Honey” on our site, where you and your fans can have a ‘casting conversation’ about your characters.
Hi, Jeff! Somebody just sent me a link to your site the other day! How cool to have a place to have this particular discussion, especially as Patrick is totally based on an actor I’ve crushed on for years. Well, the character the actor played. In the 80s.
I won’t name names as I want every reader to have her own fantasy guy, but I love this idea! I’ll check it out.
Pink Peony/Jen wrote: I might reward myself later after I hack back the wisteria vines. Hope you’re enjoying your debut! Congrats!
Thanks, Jen! Hey, after chopping back the wisteria, you deserve more than Money, Honey. You should have a cabana boy bringing you something cool & fruity, then fanning you while you read. 🙂
Jen also wrote: (I gave notice today. I “used” to be a transportation broker. 🙂 Friday is my last day!)
Yahoooooo! Congrats on this huge step! What’s next for you??
Estella wrote: I am retired and living my dream—home and garden.
Oh, Estella, that sounds wonderful! I have sort of the same gig, only mine includes two kids under 8. It’s markedly less peaceful that way but hey, living the dream is living the dream.
I’m still darn grateful, even with the bickering.
My dream job was running an orphanage which I did for fifteen years! so now I look back and enjoy thinking of what I did and how well the children turned out to be!!!!
I have commented in a later post about this book. I think the excerpt was fabulous and was disappointed it stopped. I thought it sounded a bit like Patricia Cornwell whom I love as well. Please count me in for this.
mystica123athotmaildotcom
Pams00 wrote: We’ll I’m actually sorta living one of my dreams which was to work from my home office – I’m a freelance web/graphic designer. I’d like to be able to become more involved with baking, crafts, or interior design as well. I love any outlet to express creativity :D!
Oh, a home office. I’m sitting her with the debris of my family’s life (including a flowery head band, a tutu and a stuffed pony)scattered around my desk, and I don’t mind admitting it–there is envy in my heart.
I’m also deeply envious of artistically creative people. Interior design, especially. The best $100 I ever spent was for a color consultant to come to my house & develop a color scheme for repainting the interior.
Mickey Mac wrote: .the dream is still out there and I could still fulfill that dream even at 67 yrs old, right??? So, when I grow up, I’ll be a dietitian!
The dream is always out there, Mickey Mac! And being a dietitian would be so cool. I’d love to know more about what foods really do inside us & how to really eat well.
JenM wrote: after about 5 years working as an CPA I went back to school and got a nursing degree so that I could work in Labor & Delivery. I’m back in accounting these days, but at least I got a chance to try something different.
Wow, those really are two different fields! It’s amazing how the same person can be drawn to both of them, & yet that’s what makes people so endlessly interesting.
I’ll be you had all sort of good stories when you were delivering babies. But I’ll bet your hours are better as a CPA. 🙂
Mystica wrote: My dream job was running an orphanage which I did for fifteen years! so now I look back and enjoy thinking of what I did and how well the children turned out to be!!!!
Wow, an orphanage. That had to be such hard & heartbreaking work sometimes, but so very rewarding. I’m so glad somebody who loved it & loved kids was doing it all those years.
Mystica also wrote:
I have commented in a later post about this book. I think the excerpt was fabulous and was disappointed it stopped. I thought it sounded a bit like Patricia Cornwell whom I love as well.
Wow, Patricia Cornwell! I’m ridiculously flattered by that. Thanks! Good luck in the drawing–I’d love to get Money, Honey into the hands of people who’ll enjoy it!
I’m currently unemployed and would like to find a job period, I don’t care if it’s a dream job, I just need to work to pay the bills. So my answer is, I’m enjoying the fantasy. The more I can read and escape from reality the better!
Money, Honey sounds like a fantastic book that I could really escape reality with.
My dream job would involve sports somehow. Seeing how I have zero athletic ability & poor eye-hand coordination, playing it will be out of the question. Maybe the team physical therapist or media coordinator. I will get to contribute & watch the games!
Barbara E wrote: I’m currently unemployed and would like to find a job period…So my answer is, I’m enjoying the fantasy. The more I can read and escape from reality the better!
Hi, Barbara! That’s exactly why we have romance novels–escape from reality when reality kinda blows. I hope Money, Honey is a good distraction–good luck in the drawing! And good luck on the job search!
Scorpio M wrote: Maybe the team physical therapist or media coordinator. I will get to contribute & watch the games!
See, now, that’s good thinking. You don’t have to PLAY the sport, just support it somehow & still…free tickets! Smart. Very smart.
I have a friend who works in corporate giving for a big box company & he’s always taking big wig donors to sporting events & black tie galas. He got to go to the Grammys (where he bumped into Beyonce, who apologized to him–greatest facebook status update ever) and all that sort of thing.
Nice work if you can get it. 🙂
I’m snorting with laughter, in danger of waking up the toddler sleeping beside me, at recognition of the unsalvagable conversation.
And: I LOVE your husband. What a wonderful, wonderful man.
And: I also love the story of how you found your CP.
Best of luck on your debut! And I have to go look at the rest of the numbered list, now.
Congrats on your debut release, Susan. I wouldn’t mind being the host of a travel show. I can imagine how exciting it would be to see the world and get paid for it.
I would love to win this book. Love the cover.
Maybe at some point go back to get my masters.
Natalie’s Mama
Hi! Great cover!
At some point, when I have the money and the time, I would love to take one of those driving classes that are taught at a racetrack. I’m sure my Subaru is up to the challenge. 🙂 There probably will be really great cars to drive.
ironss[at]gmail.com
Right now my wish is to move to Europe. I want to move there and work from home. Can you imagine the amount of free time, that i will have to read while looking out on the ocean? Ahhh, just lovely!
I really enjoyed this post – congratulations on your release!
I have a regular day job, but I’ve always wanted to refinish old furniture. I did it a few times as a kid and it was rewarding to see how great the finished product was. Maybe when the kids grow up and I retire…*sigh*
bookaddictpatti at cox dot net
I’ve always wished I could paint. I have some friends who are great artists and I envy them their talent. Although, admittedly, I’ve never actually tried painting anything, but I am horrible at drawing. Maybe one of these days, I’ll pick up some art supplies and give it a go. Or maybe I’ll sign up for a beginners class. 🙂
I’ve always wanted to go to live to another country.
I like the cover, it’s very colorful!
I want to get over 65% in a GP dressage class someday.
And that’s a cute funny excerpt. *makes note*
Sorry I’m late to the party. Please count me in to the giveaway. This book sounds right up my alley – I love a bad boy!
As for whether I’ve got a secret ambition – well I always wanted to be a pop star and while I can carry a tune, I think I’ll stick to singing in the shower!
This book looks great. the cover is so eye catching. As for a secret ambition – as for secret ambition, I guess I am living it now – am retired and I love animals and am working with a shelter and loving it.
Joanne V.
I am enjoying the fantasy because I have already had the dream of a beautiful marriage with a husband who treated me like a queen. Sadly he passed away so now I have a fantasy of being with him once again. That’s my secret, but I am willing for God to decide when we will be together again, that’s my dream.
Great interview!
Sadly I am living the fantasy. If I had money maybe I could live my dreams. I would love to own my own company…either book publishing or record company. Something where I could help others to also achieve their dreams:)
Thanks for the giveaway!
bangersis(at)msn(dot)com
I’d love to win this one!
It’s contemporary and FBI…I’m sold
At the moment my unlikely ambition is to be an editor of romance novels. I love the books so much I think that would be awesome. Alas it is not achievable for various reasons so I’ll stick to finding a job more in line with what I’m used to doing 🙂
That is a GREAT story, Susan! I’m mostly living my dream–mommying my kids, and taking some dance classes… I’m never going to be a ballerina, but this way I can pretend 😉
I posted several days back but thought of a few other things I would love to do:
learn to do country line dancing, own a bookstore, be a buyer for Borders of B&N, particulary buy contemporary romance books as that is what I love to read.
How are those choices? LOL.
Funny you should ask! My secret dream is to write a witty, funny novel. But I don’t have “the right stuff”, alas. Thats why when I review a book, no matter what I think of it, I always give the author credit for just having the fortitude and talent to write a complete novel!
annfes@yahoo.com
Contest closed. Please check here to see if you’ve won:
http://thebookbinge.com/2010/07/winners-announced.html