Is it just me, or does it seem kind of ridiculous that men in romance novels often (like..all the damn time) say “come for me”. Like..what? Just by saying it you can make it happen? I’m calling party foul on that one. I just don’t see how a woman can come strictly because a man told her to. Even if she’s close, words alone aren’t going to send her over the edge, right? Sure, it sounds hot, but in reality? Probably notsomuch.
Or am I just missing out?
Hmm….
um…..lol….have you ever looked into D&s? It is often used in training. Punishment is given if you do come without Master telling you too (that kind of thing). I find that it can be a turn-on, being able to (I am not always able to, and no, we don’t always swing that way)because it definitely pleases the hubby…lol…..tmi? LOL
Tasha
This is just a theory, but (aside from the D/s dynamic mentioned by the previous commenter) I think this tendency (in real life as well as books) has something to do with the differences between male and female orgasms. With the caveat that *everyone is different, natch*, if the sex is going well and the guy is getting closer to orgasm, there’s more of a sense of… he’s holding back/thinking of baseball statistics/trying *not* to come. And from that sexual response POV, a partner telling him “Come for me” is a request for him to let go/let it happen.
But for women, the route to orgasm is often more of an uphill climb than a question of holding back against an inevitability. And an order/request to “come for me” can be be met with a feeling of “I’m trying! Don’t push me!” rather than a (typical) male response of “Thank god, I can let go now!”.
I don’t think most guys consciously think that typical female sexual response is the same as theirs, but there’s maybe a tendency to do onto others as they’d have done to them.
Oh yeah, this one tends to annoy me too. I try to just let it flow over me – like sex scenes in water, which I know from personal experience Do.Not.Work.
Holly,
I ALWAYS wonder about this, and I do believe great minds think alike, because I had a post about this past January complete with a poll which is still way down on my sidebar. (were you reading BDB??)
Anyway, to save you the trouble of visiting, I will report my scientific results: 9 people agreed nobody says this, however 2 people claimed it had been said to them with favorable results, and one person used the line.
But I totally agree with your post. If my man said it, it would not be effective!
Well, if the girl is pretty hot and bothered and the guy has been playing with her for awhile and then says, “COME FOR ME!!”, that may make more sense.
I always snicker when the hero says that. And when the woman he is with, does, he must give himself a nice pat on the back.
I am simply LMAO right now!
I may not even “come TO him” if he asks. Who knows, may it’s just one of those, ” you got to be there” moments!
mph
When Dh and I are role playing D/s, I can come on command.
I’m a sub at heart, but DH is rather vanilla, so the D/s thing is not constant.
When he does want to do it, and he commnds me… WoooEeee, It’s gooooood.
Wouldn’t it be nice 😉 I have to concentrate too much – breathing, this way that way etc that having a directive would cause me to go ‘oh, hell, I’ll fake it.’ I think if it’s prefaced with ‘I want you to come for me’ that I least I can work with 😉
CindyS
LOL The thought has crossed my mind too. I think the idea is it’s very sexy that the hero places the heroine’s pleasure first and it might turn the heroine on enough to orgasm.
I, too, am LMAO at this post, cause I’m finding it in more and more books. I always think – “Man, that lucky bitch – how does she do that?!”
Holy crap, reading these comments was entertaining. I’m totally down with what Lori said. I have found it to be sexy a time or two when I read it, but in real life. Well…get REAL.
It’s more annoying to me than anything. Maybe I’m just jealous of the heroine that she can? lol idk! But it seems were seeing it more and more. It’s more of a control thing and that, for me, is a big turn off. Tumperkin was just talking about this over at her blog too.