Oh there are so many ways I can finish that sentence! I could say I’m annoyed when…I have to pay the mortgage, my 12 year old argues with me, I don’t get enough sleep, oh the list could go on! But this has to do with a particular thing that happens in books.

So what got to me this time? This:

The heroine is so tiny that the author describes it in many ways. Her little hand touches the hero’s chest. Her hand, so tiny grabs his incredibly large….muscles – or whatever else is incredibly large. But we get that the hero is of massive personage and the heroine is so petite as to almost seem tinkerbellish. But the diminutive stature in particular isn’t what gets me. It’s when the pocket-sized nymph decides to go through and wear something of the jolly green giant’s (because of course her clothes were ripped off in the heat of passion) and all she has to do is roll those sweat pants a few times and they fit.

Excuse me? According to the descriptions in the book the heroine’s about 2 foot 10 and the hero is about 6’6” and 200 pounds. Ok, maybe that’s an exaggeration, but still, she’s short and petite and he’s tall and muscular. What in heavens name makes authors think I’m thick enough to believe that all that heroine needs to do is roll that waistband and those sweats are gonna fit? I’m sorry, but no. Ain’t never gonna happen. Maybe if she rolls it about 8 times which would then make the waistband about 10 inches thick and then puts a belt on, it might stay where it’s supposed to. I’d much rather just see the midget heroine wearing only the hero’s t-shirt – which would of course drag on the floor since she’s so microscopic – and call it a day.

Is it just me? Have you never noticed this before? Does this annoy you, too? Or is there something else that gets your goat? Go ahead, release the Kraken, let it all out.