This past weekend, Tracy came over and spent some time with me (ok, mostly she spent time in my book room), and while she was here we started discussing infidelity in romance. This is a long recycled topic here in Romanceland. There are some who don’t mind infidelity, or feel they can get past it depending on the circumstances, and others who just..can’t. No matter what. I happen to fall – for the most part – into the latter category. Infidelity just doesn’t work for me. It’s like I have a mental block when it comes to infidelity that refuses to let me get past it.

There are times when I’ve been able to overcome my aversion to infidelity, but they’ve been rare. Mostly it’s in cases where either a) it happened long before the current story takes place and the characters are dealing with the aftermath or b) unaware they were cheating (they thought their spouse was dead, etc). I’m also much more forgiving in historical romances, though even then I have a hard time accepting it.

This discussion sparked because Tracy was thinking about reading Her Ladyship’s Companion by Evangeline Collins (check out Ames‘ review here). We both thought it sounded good until Tracy realized the heroine hires a male companion while still married. Despite that fact that her husband was a cold fish who’d basically abandoned her to the country, Tracy and I both agreed we couldn’t get past that and set the book aside.

After reading Ames‘ review, I emailed her and asked her to spoil the end for me (I was curious about how things turned out) and she said it didn’t bother her that the heroine hired a male companion, especially since she’d been all but abandoned by her husband. Actually her direct quote was:

“Hey man, if her husband visits her once a year, then I’m all about a fictional character getting her jollies where she can.”

Gotta love Ames for keeping it real. Obviously she and I disagree, though I admit there are times I feel the same way. Especially since men often had mistresses in historical times. I guess it all depends on the author.

Actually, I think it depends on the characters, too. I remember being so angry with Zach from Rachel Gibson‘s Not Another Bad Date for cheating on his first wife, because he was so cavalier about it. She didn’t care, so why should he? There was no remorse for what he’d done, no contrition. He slept and around and that was that. I think if he’d shown even a modicum of remorse I might not have been as bothered. As it was, however, I had a really hard time moving past that, even though it had happened years before the story took place and he never cheated on the heroine.

So tell me, what are your thoughts on infidelity? Is it something you can overlook depending on the circumstances, or is it a deal breaker each and every time? Or are you just not bothered at all?