I have to admit, commitment scares the ever lovin’ hell out of me. No, I’m not talking about relationship-wise. I’m talking about here in blogland.

Recently Ciara and The Book Smugglers announced they were kicking off The Windflower World Tour. I think the idea behind it s fabulous! Not only are they discussing what’s considered a “classic” in the romance genre, but they’re also delving deeper and discussing the differences between romance today and romance of the past, plus they’re asking the question “Does old school romance have a place in contemporary society?”. The entire thing is brilliant and I’m really looking forward to seeing the different perspectives as the book travels (already Ana reviewed the book and so far the discussion is fascinating!).

Also recently announced is Book Blogger Appreciation Week, which is being hosted by My Friend Amy. We registered almost immediately upon hearing about it (Well, Rowena registered us). The project is amazing and I’m very much in awe of Amy for putting it together.

In both cases, I would have loved to participate. As I said above, the discussion about Windflower and old school romances should be fascinating, not to mention I’m curious about the book itself. With BBAW, I’d love to offer to host something here at BB, or help Amy with anything she might need. I can’t imagine the amount of work she’s put into this and I’m sure she could use a hand in one way or another.

So what’s stopped me? Fear of commitment.

You see, I know myself. I know once I take on a project or volunteer myself for something, it becomes a chore. Chores, at least in my world, are not fun. Once the fun is taken out of something, I don’t want to do it. Not doing it means going back on my commitment. Going back on my commitment (or not following through, whatever) gives me a horrible case of anxiety. Anxiety is bad.

In the end, I feel like an ass for having volunteered or agreed to something and then not following through. Plus, I look like an ass for it.

Back when I was young and dumb* I signed myself up for all kinds of stuff. Then killed myself trying to follow through with it all. But now that I’m older and smarter, I’ve learned to only volunteer myself for the things I know I can complete, and to bow out of others.

I’m really lucky to share the blog with two amazing women who help keep me on track. Not only do they support me and help keep me organized, but they reign me in when it looks like I’m going to take on too much. I can’t tell you how many emails a day I send them, saying things like, “We should blog about this.” or “OMG, we should totally sign up for this” or “Don’t you think this would be awesome?!?!” Some of the time they agree, but more often than not they roll their eyes (yes, I know they do this, even if I can’t see them through the computer) and tell me to knock it off. Or they just ignore me. Luckily (or not?) I’m easily distracted and it isn’t long before I move on to something new, which means either way they’re saving me from myself. (Thanks Ladies!)

What about you? Do you share my commitment phobia? Do you take on more projects than you can complete, or are you good at finding the right balance?

*By “back then” and “young and dumb” I mean “yesterday” and “haven’t really learned”. Just FYI.