Please welcome, once again, Karen Mercury to Tracy’s Place! Karen is here with us today with some enlightening and quite humorous information on…
Ye Olde &%$@! Talk
I adore slang—a big reason I’ve never written a historical novel set farther back in time than 1827. Writing medievals must be well-nigh next to impossible, with the restrictions put upon descriptions of various bawdy practices. I’ll venture a guess they had a wider vocabulary that never made it into the Oxford English Dictionary, but in historical writing, one must be entirely accurate and avoid anachronisms at all costs. I am constantly turning to my Random House Dictionary of American Slang, Volumes A-G and H-O (when the hell are they going to put out P-Z?).
There are limitations even in writing about 1827, a year that sounds fairly recent (to a historical novelist, anyway). A sucker in drag couldn’t boot anyone for being too breezy, a gun-shy peewee couldn’t cook a potato-head’s goose, a guy who wanted to put on the dog couldn’t pull the wool over anyone’s eyes, and an uppity no-count lunkhead couldn’t talk the hind leg off a donkey. Rummies drinking caper juice had to hit the road if they wanted to kick a lung out of any nances who were knee-high to a grasshopper, and god forbid if any geezers on a bust were to get worked up and yell blue murder while punching cows. It simply wasn’t done in 1827. Those poor bastards couldn’t even get the creeps, be tickled to death, or sass like a house on fire. Evidently everything was fairly proper in 1827.
And that’s not as much fun, is it? They couldn’t polish anyone off, put anyone out of action, or even experience puppy love until 1834. Yo! What in hell?
I felt very limited writing about 1827. Sure, they had funky, oiled duck-fuckers popping up when it rained cats and dogs, creating a rumpus and telling sons of bitches to kiss their ass. And I was lucky they could tell someone to cheese it (yes, as in Muggsy!), shake in their shoes, neck, pick someone off, or give a flying fuck (1800, when a fun-filled person, evidently lusting for life and liberty, distributed a flyer describing a sex act done on horseback). And one of the biggest losses to historical literature is that until 1870, no one could attend a “circus” featuring bestial couplings.
Writing historical sex scenes is even more limiting and frustrating. I suppose I love it because I love a challenge, and I play a sort of guessing game with myself. When a slang term pops into my head, I guess the decade it was first used, getting a nerdish thrill when I’m right. “Fucking” is a word with a grand old tradition dating back to at least 1687, when apparently a guy named Burford lamented his “Half ten Guineas spent in Wine and Fuck.” By 1785, these rebellious libertines were hard at it humping, but if you were to have a character saying “Let’s have coitus,” I’m sure the reader would picture Dr. Sheldon Cooper leering at them in his Flash superhero costume.
In the world of pre-Edwardian sex, a man could be possessed of a cock. That word goes back to a Middle-Aged gent who took his own quivering quill in hand and penned:
I have a gentle cock…his comb is of reed coral, his tail is of jet…and every night he perches him in mine lady’s chamber.
Or that’s my best interpretation, what with their Middle-Aged habit of randomly sticking the letter Y into every word. And pity the clueless 1618 adolescent who wondered, “Oh man, what art thou? When thy cock is up?” Our potent forefathers could have pricks, jocks, johnsons, bones, and a John Thomas if he was in Britain, but it wasn’t until 1888’s Stag Party (apparently a book containing “Socratic love,” a “French crisis,” and “a thousand other stories full of pith and point”) that someone thought to write:
Student (turning her fairly around and putting his dick where his finger was): Nice, isn’t it, ducky?
I am continually chagrined that in writing historicals I can’t use the word “dick.” My number one all-time favorite author Henry Miller gets into the game here (he is all over Random House, Volumes A-O), in 1934’s Tropic of Cancer writing, “It feels exactly as if he had taken out that dick of his and was peeing on us.” Thanks once again, Henry, for your descriptive prowess. I’ll stick with “penis.” I actually find that word elegant, attractive, and entirely unmedical, unlike:
Vagina. I just finished a wonderful Robin Schone novel where she uses that word a lot, but when reading it, I can only imagine myself with my feet up in stirrups, being prodded in a much more unpleasant and cringe-inducing manner. When it comes to describing women’s anatomy, a writer is even more limited thanks to the dreaded C-word, which still seems mostly unacceptable even in erotic romance due to its standing, and holding the number one place, as the most pejorative epithet one can call a woman. How fair is that, when it’s the mildest but equivalent thing to call a fellow a “dick”? For women we have twat (1656) which has a nice bawdy Earl of Rochester ring to it, quim (1613), and various other euphemisms invoking images of trains going through tunnels. And frankly, I like honeypot, simply because it sounds so damned cute.
For when you have possession got
Of Venus Mark, or Honeypot
These furious fornicators also had to invent verbs to describe the age-old practice of spanking the monkey. You’re pretty much stuck with “frig,” which sounds like something our lascivious ancestors made their wives do to their dirty pantaloons. Nobody was allowed to “jack off” until 1916, much less “beat off” (1962), probably a huge frustration to those who were stuck boxing the Jesuit and getting cockroaches, for which thanks must be given to that old standby for historical writers, Captain Grose of the 1811 Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue. Grose states that is a “sea term for masturbation; a crime, it is said, much practised by the reverend fathers of that society.” I can’t be sure about “wanking off,” since Random House has not had the foresight to release Volume P-Z, but it sounds British, maybe 1950s. I am only guessing.
I wonder what these randy pioneers said when it came time to describe even more obscure acts, such as oral sex? Again, the authors of 19thC and earlier stories cannot feel free to utilize blowjob (1942), fellatio (1893), cunnilingus (1887), or cocksucker (1891). It’s a continuous search for acceptable terms that aren’t anachronistic, sound cute or sexy, and don’t make you feel like you work in an OBGYN office.
I have only barely dipped my wick into this rich pool of sexual terminology, and barely made a ripple, so please, if anyone can think of any historical terms possibly used by our founding fathers, in their fetid fervor for freedom, please let me know.
And in the meantime, if there are any questions about slang words P-Z…you’ll just have to ask the moth-eaten, flat-headed codgers currently growing cobwebs over at Random House.
Karen has been so generous and is offering up one e-copy of her new release Either Ore to one lucky winner.
They would form no brotherhood of virtue until driven to it by a brotherhood of vice.
1848 San Francisco. Lola Moreno has found a home at last, saved from destitution by businessman Gage Lassen. Gage is a withdrawn bachelor, and the most intimate subject he’s discussed with Lola is his preference in tea. Adventurer Harrison Bancroft arrives, fresh from years on the Plains living with Indians. Gage can only admit affection for another man, and things heat up when Harrison paints his portrait.
Harrison and Lola can find no way to allow Gage to participate in their love until Harrison unlocks the pain from Gage’s past, allowing him to emerge from his prison of cold restraint.
Corrupt enforcer Fowler threatens the trio with seeming knowledge of their private vices, harassing Harrison with his unwanted attentions, and a night of riots forces them to make a stand.
Three lovers, one destiny.
Just leave a comment on this post by 7:00pm (pacific) on Thursday, March 31st to enter. Winner will be announced on Friday, April 1
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Fabulous post on historic slang.
You weren't kidding about NSFW but I loved the slang stuff. Very cool. And boy oh boy must you be a fun drunk during truth or dare!
How funny!!! And, I ignored the NSFW and found myself looking over my shoulders at every little noise. Do you ever run into the problem of European/English slang versus American? I'm also not fond of the "c" word for women, maybe because it is often used negatively.
Hey Sidney, yes, the "c" word is pretty much *always* used negatively, but calling a man a "dick" is so mild it's laughable! That's like what you say to a mildly annoying guy in the checkout line.
Hey Savanna. I was glad Tracy put the dictionary photo at the top, so no penis drawings would immediately show if someone was at work. 🙂 But I like the penises with faces.
Karen and Savanna – The historical slang is great.
SVZ – Hey, when I say NSFW I mean it baby! lol
SidneyKay – Shame on you ignoring my warnings. lol
I hate the "c" word as well but see it so often in books these days. Even if it's just used to name a female body part it really is crude.
Karen – Thanks so much for being here today! Love the post!
It's obvious that writing erotica is a far cry from penning a few dirty words on paper.
Apart from her well chosen prose, Karen is a brilliant writer and her stories take you to the far corners of the globe.
Well done, Karen! Best of luck in this genre.
Marg M
I never knew all that stuff! who would have thought the "f" word goes back that far in history – thanks Karen for a very enlightening and well-written post
Hey Tracy, do you really see the "c" word often? "Cunny" sort of has that Earl of Rochester vibe, but the "c" word is still just vulgar–to me. Henry Miller used it all the time, maybe just for shock value. I guess it still "shocks"!
Hey Marg in Tasmania! Thanks for popping in. Wish I could pop over to Tassie one of these days!
Karen – that was one fantastic post! So fascinating!
I’ll venture a guess they had a wider vocabulary that never made it into the Oxford English Dictionary…
I would agree with that 🙂
Hi Orannia,
Imagine how difficult it would be to write medievals using only the OED or Webster's…Your allowable vocabulary would be about 1/4th that of a Victorian story! I'm always in awe of medieval writers.
Karen – For some reason the word cunny just doesn't bother me as the word c*nt does – not sure why. Maybe it's the way people have used it as profanity over the years. *shrugs* And yes, I do see it quite a bit in books and every time it surprises me – especially if I'm more than halfway through a book and it's not been used and then Bam! there it is. lol
Exactly, Tracy–"cunny" actually sounds sort of cute, like honeypot.
Heh-heh, I just looked it up. 1622. "Whores cry, like poulterer's wives, No money, no cunny!" 🙂
As a former history as well as English teacher, I was fascinated with the information as well as entertained by the fact that human beings have found so many artful as well as lascivious ways of using language re: sex and its many forms and expressions. Loved the post and would enjoy reading the ebook. Be sure to include me in the drawing.
Hi Dr J…I am just chagrined to discover that Random House abandoned the idea of finishing their P-Z volume! Oxford House took it over, but apparently haven't released anything yet.
If no writers are able to verify any slang terms between the letters P-Z, maybe these words will fall into disuse, simply because no writers are utilizing any of those terms. Stupid blockheaded airheaded fatheaded Random House! :):)
"Stupid blockheaded airheaded fatheaded Random House! :):)"
Amen…
I recently came across the word gamahuche for oral sex – Victorian era. I don't know weather that's a word that anyone wants to use in a romance, though. However, it was used repeatedly in the Victorian erotica book where I read it. 🙂
Gamahuche? What a funny word. I think I'll stick with my 8 year old's name for private parts…kanini (and yes that can be either girl or boy parts! lol)
absolutely fantastic – ireally enjoyed reading this..
I am from the caribbean so there is whole set of words to describe our private bits that is not only hilarious but eyeraising at the same time..
Thanks for your round up of some of the more common one – I read one descritpion recently 'cinder bar" – I think it's a translation from one of the Asian language, Japansese I think…
I still dont get it – I get (cinder) hot/smokin, but not the Bar bit..
I find the C word has it uses even in erotic – I am not opposed to an author using it every now and then… sometimes it hits the spot.
As for the Dick – A dick is a dick is a dick… nuff said..
🙂