Review: Butterfly Tattoo by Deidre Knight

Casee‘s review of Butterfly Tattoo by Deidre Knight.

Michael Warner has been drifting in a numb haze since his lover was killed by a drunk driver. As the anniversary of the wreck approaches, Michael’s grief grows more suffocating. Yet he must find a way through the maze of pain and secrets to live for their troubled young daughter who struggles with guilt that she survived the crash.

Out of the darkness comes a voice, a lifeline he never expected to find—Rebecca O’Neill, a development executive in the studio where Michael works as an electrician.

Rebecca, a former sitcom celebrity left scarred from a crazed fan’s attack, has retreated from the limelight and from life in general, certain no man can ever get past her disfigurement. The instant sparks between her and Michael, who arrives to help her during a power outage, come as a complete surprise—and so does her uncanny bond with his daughter.

For the first time, all three feel compelled to examine their inner and outer scars in the light of love. But trust is hard to come by, especially when you’re not sure what to believe when you look in the mirror. The scars? Or the truth?

This is an extremely hard book to review. I read it two weeks ago and couldn’t review it. I literally could not review it. I sat down and the words just wouldn’t come. The first thing I have to say is that I would not consider this book a romance. It’s a book about life. I would compare it to A Bend in the Road by Nicholas Sparks or Suzanne’s Diary for Nicholas by James Patterson. While there are romantic elements, that is not what drives the story.

In Butterfly Tattoo, Knight brings two very flawed and tortured characters together. A former actress, Rebecca O’Neill’s life changed when she was viciously attacked by an obsessive fan. Scarred and wary, Rebecca leads a life where she lets very few people in. Though three years have passed since the attack, Rebecca has not recovered, physically or emotionally. When she first sees Michael Warner, he sparks something in her that she hasn’t felt for a long while, if ever.

Thirteen years ago, Michael Warner fell in love with his best friend Alex Richardson. Being straight as an arrow until then, Michael was more that surprised that he fell in love with a man. For thirteen years Michael and Alex were as happy as two people in love can be. Then the unthinkable happened. Alex and their daughter, Andrea, were hit by a drunk driver. Alex was killed instantly; Andrea made it, but is far from the eight year old girl that Alex and Michael raised together.

A year has passed since Alex’s death and Michael is just as broken as he was the day Alex died. Every day he thinks of things that he wished he would have done or said to Alex. Each day he tries to drink himself into oblivion while his daughter slips further away from him. Then he meets Rebecca and something amazing happens. For the first time in a year, he feels peace. Pushing his guilt aside, Michael pursues Rebecca, the first woman he has been attracted to in fifteen years. Not only that, but she also seems to be the one person that Andrea will open up to.

Rebecca is obviously wary of Michael’s attraction to her. Having a gay best friend, she doesn’t have a problem with his relationship with Alex. What she has a problem with is that he might one day decide that he does belong with a man, after all. A friendship develops between the two, slowly making its way into love. Even with that, love may not be enough.

Michael still deeply grieves for Alex, which I understood. I could accept him wearing Alex’s clothes, visiting his grave…things like that. There were some things he did, though, that were so unforgivable and just mean, that I don’t know how Rebecca forgave him in the end. There was one particular incident when Michael and Rebecca were out for lunch that Michael did something that almost made me stop reading.

This is another book that explores the possibility that you can’t help who you love. Michael never thought he would be with a man, but the person he loved ended up being a man. I did like how the book ended. The problems and hurdles of Michael and Rebecca’s relationship weren’t tied up in a neat little bow. They were real problems that took time to work out.

This is a powerful story of two people coming together. Still, I wouldn’t classify it as a love story.

4 out of 5.

This book is available from Samhain Publishing. This book is only available in e-format. You can buy it here.

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