This is a post for bloggers with kids – or anyone with good advice, actually!
While I’d love to say that the food issues are mine – they’re not. They are my 12 year olds. She eats like a horse. Seriously. At meals she can down more than my hubby – it’s mind boggling. But the issues that she’s having – and that I’m having with her is the fact that she sneaks food and then lies about it.
Latest example: Yesterday I got home and the bag of Doritos (which we never have in the house so I understand the huge appeal) was 3/4 gone. I asked my daughter about it and she blamed it on my dad (who picks my kids up from school and stays until he takes the youngest to Taekwondo). I highly doubted that my dad – who has heart problems and eats pretty darned healthy – would have eaten them but I called him just to double check. Nope, he hadn’t eat a one. So there I am trying to explain to my daughter that it’s not ok to eat that many chips in one sitting, ever! She still denied it. There have been many times that things like this has happened only with other food items.
Lately whenever I clean the house, so normally once a week, I’m finding food wrappers stuck in the oddest places.
She seems to be doing this mostly when my dad takes my youngest to her TKD class on Mon, Tues, & Wed. She’s at home by herself during that time for about 1.5 hours. But I have noticed other times as well.
Frankly I’m at a loss. My kids have always asked if they could get a snack when they wanted one so the fact that she feels like she needs to sneak is a bit beyond my comprehension. I know she’s a growing girl – and she is growing fast, but she eats more than enough along with her normal healthy snacks to not be starving, imho.
My husband is ready to put a lock on the pantry door but I really don’t want to do that. Has anyone had this problem with their preteen/teen (she’s 12…will be 13 at the end of the month) and if so, what did you do about it?
Andy FYI – no, that’s not my pantry in the picture….*sigh* if only.
My nephew is the same exact way. He eats so much more than he should that everyone in my family has taken control and are looking over his shoulder at every turn. It's horrible but we have no idea what to do.
Hey honey, I am not sure what to tell you here.. But maybe she feels that everyone is picking her for eating so much, so if she hides it, no one will know. Closet food person. And the only thing I can think of is to let her know it is okay to eat in moderation and not be down on her, if that makes sense. I wish I had some good advice, but I suck at this part. Hugs to honey!
I will keep watching though to see what others have to say!
I started to get paranoid the other way when Kristen hit that age. She stopped eating at school and I figured I had anorexia on the way, however once she got past that middle school paranoia that everyone was looking at her and judging her for what she ate, she went back to "normal". Is she eating lunch at school? If she's not eating there out of embarrassment or self-consciousness, she may be STARVING when she gets home and we all know we gorge like mad when we are so hungry. I'd try and find out what she really eats during the day to see if it's out of proportion.
You don't want to draw attention to it too much and make it some kind of big "thing" because that only makes everyone think about it more and hide it more and a vicious circle begins, but you also can't just let it continue. It's easy to say "eat healthy snacks" but are there easy things for her grab? If she has to peel a carrot and put dip in a container it's a lot easier just to grab a rice krispie square from the box.
You could start making up a "healthy snack" plate and leave it in the fridge for her to eat after school but I'm not sure. If things don't settle down I'd talk to a Dr. about finding a strategy that won't drive the habit more underground. Good luck. It's so hard to deal with food issues.
You might also do some research into overeating/hoarding food – this could have a treatable physical or psychological component.
My Gran used to have a dish of Quality Street chocs in her living room. My sis and I used to sneak the chocs and hide the wrappers behind the sofa cushions. Of course, she knew it was us, but she never said anything at the time.
My kids aren't old enough for this. My eldest son likes his food but is too busy getting caught up in video games to think beyond the snack he gets as he comes home from school.
Hope it works out OK for you Tracy. I do think making a big issue out of it is to be avoided as it's possible that she already feels embarrassed or ashamed to have eaten the food which is why she denied it when you asked her. If you push too much it might make her feel even worse and lead to more sneaking about. Having said that, it's easy for me to say that from this distance when I don't have the emotional connection that you do.
((hugs)) for you and I hope it's resolved soon.
I used to do this. Still find myself tempted to do it.
As a child/preteen I ate something so that my siblings wouldn't eat it. A box of Little Debby snack cakes were gone in one afternoon. You better it it now, cause it won't be there later.
As an adult I feel the urge to "closet eat" because I am guilty about what I eat.
If your daughter is feeling guilty, something is already wrong.
Rowena – I haven't been looking over her shoulder and I really don't want to start. I'll keep you posted.
Cecile – We've definitely let her know that it's ok to eat snacks but in moderation. We talked again last night so hopefully…
Tam – She's taking a lunch with her and says she eats it but I can't say for sure that she is.
I'm trying not to draw too much attention to the matter but I've definitely discussed it with her.
I will try the healthy plate idea – it may help. I'm up for anything at the moment.
Chris – Possibly – I'll look in to that as well.
Jenre – I try to keep her occupied so that she doesn't think so much about it – I was thinking at first that it was boredom but I'm not sure that's it.
Hopefully we can work it out, thanks.
SWZ – She doesn't seem to feel guilty about it on the outside but I can't see her insides so I'm not sure. She's never been a truth-teller so it's hard what she's feeling/thinking.
I know few people who don't feel this way from time to time but every day worries me with her. Thanks for your thoughts.