Tag: Tellulah Darling

Guest Review: Sam Cruz’s Infallible Guide to Getting Girls by Tellulah Darling

Posted December 20, 2012 by Ames in Reviews | 2 Comments

*Eep! I can’t believe it’s been almost 3 months since I’ve reviewed a book here.  I’ve been in a serious contemporary romance binge, so I’ve barely been reading any YA.  I’ll try not to stay away so long next time.*

Ames‘ review of Sam Cruz’s Infallible Guide to Getting Girls by Tellulah Darling.

Main Character:  Ally Klinger
Love Interest:  Sam Cruz
Series:  n/a
Author: Website|Facebook|Twitter

Why the hell can’t chicks be more like guys?

That question plagues high school senior Sam Cruz. Sam is perfectly happy being a player. He just wishes girls wouldn’t change the game from sex to relationships. It makes him look like an asshole. But when Sam’s best friend, Ally Klinger, gets dumped, she begs him to transform her into someone who can screw around then screw off. No risk of heartbreak that way. It’s Sam’s chance to create the perfect female AND cheer up his best friend. Armed with Sam’s Three Step Guide to Backseat Success, Ally gets the game better than Sam thought she would and before long, Sam has his wish: the female version of himself. Too bad it’s driving him nuts. Told from Sam’s and Ally’s alternating POVs, Sam Cruz’s Infallible Guide to Getting Girls is a fast-paced romantic comedy that follows these teens as they navigate the minefield of sex, love, and friendship.

This book contains strong language, drinking, euphemisms, and lots of “bow chicka wow wow.”

I thought this book was so totally outrageous and it made me laugh out loud several times.

Ally Klinger was dumped by her boyfriend on her birthday.  He was one of those douchebags that acted better than everyone and everyone saw that but Ally.  She really let him have a big say in her life.  But now that she’s free, she wants to be more like her best friend Sam.  He is the king of the casual hookup.  Ally’s post break-up plan is to become a player, never getting her heart broken again.  At first Sam refuses to help her make herself over, but then he caves.  He hates that girls can’t be as laissez-faire about hooking up as he is, so he’s using this opportunity to see if girls can indeed be players.  But of course once Sam turns Ally into a player he realizes how hot she is and it isn’t too long until the tables are turned on him!

All right then.  I liked this book!  I would say that there had to be some suspension of reality for it to go over, but if you’re the mood for a humorous read then this is the book for you.

Ally and Sam have been friends forever.  This was wonderful.

Sam’s a dog, and like all good pet owners dealing with that embarrassing leg-humping issue, I just spray him down from time to time and love him anyway.


They’re such good friends, that when Sam helps Ally with her makeover, there really aren’t any off-limit topics:

“Oh my god!” I wail. “I’ve got a vullet!”
I pull up my pants and fling the door open.
“A what?” he asks.
“A vullet. A vaginal mullet. Party in the back, business in the front.”

Such a gross visual LOL but it’s a good example of how outrageous Sam and Ally are.  Which I loved.

During the makeover process, Sam hates it when Ally draws attention to being a girl.  It makes him look at her that way, which is something he’s been very good at not doing during all the years of their friendship.  But Ally does get made over and when Sam starts showing her the player ropes…he doesn’t like it when she starts to catch some tail of her own.  Again, he doesn’t really let himself think about why, but we know he’s crazy jealous.

And then one day, Ally catches him.  And she does to him what he’s done to girls ever since he hit puberty.  No cuddling after the deed, no emotional attachment.  These two have amazing chemistry, but eventually Ally only comes to Sam when she wants a booty call.  And Sam again hates it.  He misses the old Ally, they don’t hang out the way they used to, because they just end up having sex right away.

I thought that was interesting turn of events.  The guy is the one who wants the deeper connection.  Because Ally was his best friend, and when she takes that away, he really misses it.  And he does some interesting things to get their friendship back.  Unfortunately, this is where the story lagged a wee bit for me.  The first half, where Ally is undergoing her transformation is very quick paced and funny.  The second half, not so much.  It’s still a good read, but it didn’t have that same energy.

All in all though, I really enjoyed Sam and Ally’s story.  I love that Ally takes hold of her sexuality and goes with it.  And the humor, it really had me cracking up in some places.  For a funny, unconventional friends to lovers story, this is the book for you.  B

..and that’s your scoop!

Buy the book: B&N|Amazon|Books on Board|Kobo
Book cover and blurb credit: http://www.goodreads.com


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