Tag: Letters I’ve written

A Letter In Which Holly Gets "Nasty"

Posted May 31, 2008 by Holly in Discussions | 43 Comments

Dear Anon Author,

A word of advice from your friendly local book reviewer:

When you submit a book for review to this review site, you have to understand that it’s going to be reviewed, whether it was a fabulous book or an awful book. In case you aren’t aware, in the “About Us” section, we have a disclaimer that states authors and/or publishers are free to submit books for review, but just because you submitted it does not guarantee a good review. If it sucks big donkey balls, we’re going to tell the world.

Unfortunately, your book sucked big donkey balls. I felt the need to tell the world. Leaving comments to the effect of “You’re mean” and “It’s unethical to tell people to steer clear of my book” isn’t going to change the fact that your book sucked big donkey balls. I’d also like to point out that leaving comments saying things like “I meant to write them as idiot characters” and “It was supposed to be written with grammatical and typographical errors” (not that you actually used those words..I think they might be too big for you) “because that’s my writing ‘voice'” does nothing but make you look like a fucktard.

Yes, a big fucktard.

As long as we’re discussing you being a fucktard, I’d like to go one step further here and say it’s probably not advisable to Google the title of your book and then leave tell your friends so they can leave “annoymous” comments on posts saying things like, “There’s a difference between honesty and nastiness”. Because you’re right, there is a difference.

I’d say I’m being honest when I say your book was one of the worst books I read in 2007. I’d say I’m being nasty when I say if you aren’t one of the stupidest people on the face of the Earth, I don’t know who is.

I’d also say I’m being nasty when I state the following:

“Adra Steia is a fucktard. She writes shitty books and then cries when she gets bad reviews for said shitty books. Then she leaves anonymous comments on said reviews and/or other posts further cementing her fucktard status. In my not very humble opinion, no one – and I mean absolutely no one – should read A Year Of You. Ever. Unless they want their eyes to bleed and/or their head to explode. Trust me, that’s time you can never get back. Don’t waste it.”

See, that was nasty. Uh, and honest. Jeez, I guess there isn’t really a difference between honesty and nastiness after all.

Just Sayin’.

Holly

P.S. The sad part is, had you not said a word about it, I would have gladly bought more of your books, because I really liked the first one I read. Maybe next time you’ll think about that and control the impulse to comment..anonymously or otherwise.

*Turns out I was wrong, and Adra Steia herself didn’t leave a comment on our Worst Reads of 2007 post. One of her “friends” did. Since Ms. Steia has changed her story some, I’m not sure exactly HOW said friend came to leave a comment there, but according to our Stat Counter website, AS did a Google search for her book, found our Worst Reads post and emailed it to her friends so they could “laugh” about it.


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A Letter to My Fiance

Posted February 8, 2008 by Holly in Discussions, News | 11 Comments

Dear MM,

I’m so terribly, terribly sorry. I feel so ashamed of myself. I know we’ve discussed this in years past, and came to an agreement that was mutually beneficial (well, I think still think it was more to your benefit than mine) but I just couldn’t help myself. I tried to be strong. Really I did. But it was so hard!

Yes, I did it. I bought 5 books and only paid for four. Yes, I know we agreed I wouldn’t buy anymore books this month, especially with the wedding coming up so soon, but really, it wasn’t my fault.

It’s all Borders fault. Those bastards.

No, really. I never would have bought them if they hadn’t been sneaky and underhanded, and been “exploiting” my “frailty at a time of emotional weakness.”

See, I told you, it’s all their fault.

Jane said so. You believe her, don’t you?

I promise to try and restrain myself better next time. But, I can’t make any promises. After all, we’ll have been married almost a full year by the time next Valentines Day rolls around. And I’m sure I’ll be feeling ever more “emotionally weak” by then.

Forgive me?

Love,

Your weak Fiance

P.S. I’m sure you’re disappointed in me, but if you’d like, you’re more than welcome to “exploit” my emotional distress further by visiting the store. 5 for 4 is a great deal, no?


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