Rowena’s review of Cosmo’s Sexiest Stories Ever by Jane Green, Jennifer Weiner and Meg Cabot.

The world’s best-selling magazine for young women asked three best-selling authors to each write a story steamy enough for the pages of Cosmo—a tall order, but these ladies so delivered. The trio of tantalizing tales was such a hit that they’ve been compiled into this must-have ebook. Now, readers can devour these naughty little nuggets whenever, wherever.

Here’s a taste of the deliciousness inside: “Sex Under the Stars” by Jane GreenMaggie’s marriage fell apart three years ago—and now she has her eyes set on her ex-hubby’s smoke-show of a best friend. “Birthday Sex She’ll Never Forget” by Jennifer WeinerDaphne’s turning twenty-six, and the best damn gift she could have ever asked for comes in the form of a hot guy from her past—and his spine-tingling mattress moves. “Falling in Lust at the Jersey Shore” by Meg Cabot, When Gemma agrees to go in on a house at the Jersey Shore, she assumes every dude there will be a gorilla juicehead. So she is pleasantly surprised by the yummy piece of eye candy waiting for her when she arrives.

I’m not sure what I was expecting when I requested this book. I saw stories by Jane Green, Jennifer Weiner and Meg Cabot and thought, “Hmm, might be good.” There hasn’t been a story read by Meg Cabot that I haven’t loved in one way or another so I didn’t think I’d be disappointed in this one but once the book loaded onto my nook and I saw how many pages the entire book (all three stories plus title page, dedication page, etc…), my first thought was, “Shit.”

There are 22 pages in this e-book. Total. There aren’t 22 pages in each story but 22 pages in total. I couldn’t believe it but I forged ahead anyway because I did request this book. At least it would be a quick read, right?

*sigh*

To say that the stories in this book are in fact stories, is a bit of a stretch (okay, a flat out lie). They weren’t stories, they were three sex scenes that aren’t anywhere near the most naughtiest “stories” that I’ve read…and that’s saying something because erotica is not my thing.

The thing is, had there been more depth to each story, more pages to develop the stories- each story had the potential to be pretty good. I mean, seeing the guy you lusted after before you married your ex husband when you guys are both single again and steaming up the sheets on his boat? Great potential for a good story. Then, meeting up with a guy from high school (all these many years later) and having a one night stand? Yeah, could be a great story. And then there’s falling in lust at the Jersey Shore? Come on, if anyone could turn that story into a winner, it’d be Meg Cabot. But for me, all of these “stories” fell flat on their face because the sex was front and center with each of these stories and due to word counts, they just weren’t all that. Each story felt rushed and not once did I feel like I was apart of the story, I felt like it was Monday morning and my horny coworkers were telling me about their raunchy weekends. I listened but I was already thinking about the reports that I need to run after they’re done talking. It felt like that with each story.

I would break down my review by each story but my thoughts would be the same for each one. Each story had the potential to be good if only they’d been fleshed out more. Of the three, the first story was my least favorite, I just didn’t buy the whole, “Oh hey, nice to see you after all of these years. It’s my birthday, let’s go fuck!” Yeah, right. Had it been longer, the storyline fleshed out more, getting to know the heroine and the guy’s back story, maybe it would be believable but the wam, bam, thank you ma’am didn’t appeal to me. The second story wasn’t that much better because after she bangs her ex-husband’s best friend (the one she lusted after even before she married his best friend), she knows that she was pretty skanky so she’s like, “That’s enough that he just banged me to hell and back. He gave me my self worth and now I can finally move on from my ex-husband who I didn’t even love in the first place.” Oh, please. Meg Cabot’s addition to this trio of sex scenes was the best of the bunch. The heroine goes to the Jersey Shore because her and her boyfriend are on a break (Yeah, I thought of Ross and Rachel too). She bangs the guy she thinks is the pool guy but is like, whatever it’s the Jersey Shore…and I could believe it because it is the Jersey Shore. After watching Jersey Shore for the past four seasons, if anything outrageous is going to happen- it’s going to happen at the Jersey Shore so that was why I liked that story the best.

Overall, this book fits with what I’d expect to find on the pages of a Cosmo magazine. It makes sense that they’d cut out some stuff as to not turn their magazine into a Playboy magazine but naughtiest story? Nope. Is it worth it to buy the e-book? I don’t think so. There wasn’t enough story and even though it’s only 89¢, it’s still not enough story for me to dish out even that little bit of money. Though I would probably buy the magazine to read them, only because you’d get some eye candy and other stories that would be worth the on the shelf price.

My final grade for this one….

…1.5 out of 5.

This book is available from Hearst Communications. You can buy it here or here in e-format.