Wena’s Turn: Eclipse by Stephenie Meyer

Posted August 27, 2007 by Rowena in Reviews | 8 Comments

Wena’s Turn: Eclipse by Stephenie MeyerReviewer: Rowena
Eclipse by Stephenie Meyer
Series: Twilight #3
Also in this series: Eclipse, Eclipse, Breaking Dawn, Breaking Dawn, Twilight, Twilight

Publication Date: August 7th 2007
Genres: Young Adult, Horror & Ghost Stories, Love & Romance
Pages: 640
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three-stars

Readers captivated by Twilight and New Moon will eagerly devour Eclipse, the much anticipated third book in Stephenie Meyer's riveting vampire love saga.

As Seattle is ravaged by a string of mysterious killings and a malicious vampire continues her quest for revenge, Bella once again finds herself surrounded by danger. In the midst of it all, she is forced to choose between her love for Edward and her friendship with Jacob --- knowing that her decision has the potential to ignite the ageless struggle between vampire and werewolf.

With her graduation quickly approaching, Bella has one more decision to make: life or death. But which is which?

Alright, so I’m finally getting around to reviewing this book. I’ve got some bones to pick with this book, some scenes to gush over and some tomatoes (or something harder and stronger) to throw at Bella…just because I want to.

So we’ve got Bella graduating from high school and we’ve got the Cullens trying to keep Bella safe from damn near every vampire in the world. Bella is worried about her father, her mother, the vampires that are after her and her best friendship with Jacob who hates her boyfriend and love of her life, Edward. She’s got a pretty full plate right now and on top of everything else, she’s getting cold feet about becoming a vampire to be with her lover boy, Edward forEVER and not just until death do they part….or does she part from him since he won’t ever die.

I understand that she misses her BFF, Jacob and wishes that there was some way that she could get him to get along with her LFF (love for forever), Edward. I understand that she knows that she’ll be safe with Jacob, no matter what Edward thinks but goodness, you stupid dumb broad, Edward loves and wants to protect you, with everyone that is trying to kill your stupid little naive behind, do you think you can be a little more understanding to Edward, you know, the guy you supposedly love so much you’d do just about anything for him…well, anything but marry the damn fool.

And while I’m talking about that mess, your reasons Bella Swan for not marrying Edward are…

LAME-O!

Because you’re 18? And you’re worried about what others are going to say about you? RETARDED. STUPID. JUVENILE.

You are…RETARDED. STUPID. JUVENILE.

And you need a….SLAP. TO. YOUR. FACE.

Sheesh, she got on my hot damn nerves throughout this book and there were times aplenty when I wanted to chuck this book across the room and watch it hit the wall, but then Chapter 15 came along and it got better…only the better didn’t last very long because Bella was back to getting on my hot damn nerves and making me want to throw her body in a cyclone and be done with it. (Sorry I’m listening to Cyclone by Baby Bash and I felt like saying that)

What was up with Edward too? I mean, I didn’t find myself saying and chanting OMGOSH I LOVE ME SOME EDWARD, like I did in the other books, I wanted to hit Edward upside his cold and dead head quite a bit, WHY does he love Bella so much? I mean, yeah you can’t help who you love but holy hot damn you old coot, GET A CLUE! I understand that you’re older than Moses (okay not really, but close) and you have all the patience in the world but dude, BUY A CLUE (you’ve got enough money, so you can afford that junk) and move the hell on and find another soulmate because Bella was totally undeserving of you in this whole hot damn frickin’ book!

The thing that seriously pissed me off was the whole…she’s in love with Jacob….TOO! What the EFF is that? So, because she’s in love with Jacob (which is a load of crap if you ask me) that makes it okay for her to kiss and be all lovey dovey with him while Edward, waits in the wings for her? And Edward, you dumb colder than a box of ice in Alaska in the wintertime fool, how could you be okay with Bella kissing another man, another man you KNOW is in love with her and wants to steal her away from you?

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?

All of the crap that you let Bella get away with got on my hot damn nerves and Jacob’s little whiny baby, but I love you crap and I’m going to kill myself if you don’t kiss me bull crap made me want to punch him in his stupid face and run like crazy in the other directions to get away from all the dogs and then I wanted to slap the crap out of Bella and run like mad in the other directions before the dogs ripped me to shreds and the bloodsuckers, zucked my blood!

Ugh.

Was I happy in this book? Hmmm, maybe. I don’t know, if I was, I don’t remember it right now. I just remember that I threw the book at the wall (literally) after I was finished and made my friends laugh because three of my friends are reading this series right now and found my reaction to Eclipse funny and disturbing since they were all anxiously awaiting to read it…I think I might have killed their buzz over it, but I don’t give a rats ass…this book annoyed me more than it excited me, which is why it took me so hot damn long to finish this dang book but I did find myself rather intrigued by Jasper….I’m sort of crushing on him, he’s a hot vampire!

And there’s another book after this one? Will I read it?

I don’t have one effing clue.

3/5

three-stars

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8 responses to “Wena’s Turn: Eclipse by Stephenie Meyer

  1. I’ve read a few reviews of Eclipse, but I enjoyed this one the most. 🙂 I think I’ll read Twilight and stop there.

  2. Em

    I totally agree with kat o+…this is the most entertaining review I’ve read of Eclipse. I just got the second book for free and I’m thinking of buying the first one (haven’t read either). But with all these completely unsatisfied reviews, I don’t think I’ll ever read #3.

  3. Best review yet! I like it when someone feels strongly about a book and doesn’t mind saying so. I stopped after Twilight and, from what I’ve heard, that was good stopping place.

  4. HAHA. Too funny. See, I agree that this book was on the annoying side. It wasn’t as good as I might have hoped but I didn’t hate it (or throw it). I don’t hate it as much as everyone else seems to!

    P.S. Just got back from a book signing with Suz Brockmann. I’ll be posting about it soon…and will be giving away a signed copy of FON. So, stop by in the next day or so…:)

  5. I would read another book if it was written from Jacob’s point of view. I think that’s where the story needs to go, if in fact it goes anywhere.

  6. Rowena

    Kat O,

    I’m glad you enjoyed my review, sometimes you just gotta vent, ya know? *sigh*

    Em,

    I mean, it was an alright book I guess, but BElla just got on my hot damn frickity frick nerves! And so did Edward and Jacob…grrr.

    Booklogged,

    Thanks! =) I’m just telling it like it is, or how I see it…*sigh*

    Mollie,

    I was all about Edward but he annoyed me just as much as everyone else in this book…I wanted to smack him upside his dumb head, ugh.

    Kate D.,

    I agree, I’d like to get into Jacob’s head to see why he is the way he is…so yeah I won’t hold out on that one, I guess.

    Izzy,

    Hey girly..thanks, can you tell I was annoyed?

  7. Rowena you make me ROTFLMAO that being said ow I’m REALLY scared to read this one. I know I’ll do it but good heavens I hope I’m not as dissapointed as everyone else!!!!